Nihility
by WildandWinged
Summary: The Adventures of Numair and Daine: A collection of two-shots. Life with these two will keep you "aw"-ing and "lol"-ing. Every second chapter is a parody of the first. Co-op of WildSoulWildSpirit and WingedWolfStar. And of course, lots of NumairXDaine!
1. Meet and Greet: Edition A

**Nihility**

**Chapter One: Meet and Greet – Edition A**

**A/N: This duo is set after Realm of the God. For this chapter and the rest of the fanfiction, it should be known that there will be two editions of every one-shot. Edition A will be serious, written by Wild, and Edition B will be comical, written by Winged.**

**Have fun reading!**

-**And so it begins…**-

The pair walked up the dusty lane to the old wooden door.

The man turned to the women. "Are you sure you want to do this?" he asked, his voice laced with concern.

His fiancée flashed a bright smile at him. "Of course," she replied, taking his sweaty, shaking hand in hers, "When else would we get the chance? Besides, haven't you already said we were coming?"

"Yes," he said hesitantly, "But we could always become unexpectedly ill." He smiled as she laughed, a glimmer of his normal personality breaking through his nervous shell.

"Well," the women drawled, "It's too late for that now." Though neither of the pair had knocked, the door began to open slowly with an earsplitting creak. It was as if the ancient entryway had not been opened in years, though the wear and tear on the soil path starkly contrasted that idea. The pathway was littered with footprints, of both people and animals. Mostly human prints, but the majority of the others were from horses.

In the doorway stood a woman who looked to be young, though she must have been older than the door. Briefly, her green eyes were puzzled. Then she realized who was standing at her doorstep. "Arram, son, come in, come in!" Her voice was squeaky and her unnaturally black hair glistened. Even with age, her hair hadn't grayed. Odd. "And who is this?" she asked, turning her gaze towards the woman at her son's side.

"Hello, Mother. This is Verlidaine Sarrasri." His voice shook with nerves, and his sweaty hand got even sweatier. The old woman extended a perfectly smooth hand towards Daine. Daine took it in her own, giving Numair's mother a firm handshake.

"Hello, Verlidaine. My name is Zanda Draper."

"Greetings, Lady Draper. If it pleases you, just call me Daine." Numair was puzzled by his fiancée's crisp politeness, until a firm squeeze of the hand she held reassured him. As Zanda turned around, Numair removed his hand from Daine's, gave her a melodramatic bow, and offered her his right arm. She clasped his elbow, giggling. They walked in and another willow-like person swept down on them.

"Hello Father," Numair said in a small, quivering voice. Daine tightened her grip on his arm. Having never heard this tone coming from Numair's mouth, she was worried about her groom-to-be.

"Who might this be?" Numair's father asked, bending down yet still towering over Daine. She swallowed her own fresh fear, trying to be strong for Numair.

"My name is Verlidaine Sarrasri," she replied evenly, not a single quiver in her voice.

Numair's father's brows went up immediately. He obviously knew the derivation of the women's last name. His eyes were black, like Numair's. But that was the only thing Numair had taken from his father.

"Father," Numair said in a warning tone. It would not do for his father to insult his fiancée.

The older man looked haughtily at his son with his beady eyes and continued the interrogation briskly. "Why is she here?"

Numair blinked at his father, as if surprised. But Daine knew that he was angry, unusually angry. In fact, the only time she had seen him this angry was when he had smacked Orzone, the dead Emperor Mage. She shivered at the memory.

Numair's father smirked, mistaking Daine's shiver as fear.

At this point, Zanda butted in, nudging Numair's father into silence. "Why don't you two men take this…discussion… into another room while I entertain our guest here?" Numair and his father obliged, retreating to an unknown room. At least, the room was unknown to Daine.

"So," asked Zanda in a friendly voice, turning to Daine, "Why _are_ you here?" Her tone seemed kind, and it shocked Daine. She had been expecting another interrogation.

"Well," Daine shifted in her seat. "Well…I'm Numair's fiancée. And we've come to tell you." To her surprise, Zanda smiled.

"Wonderful!" she exclaimed, "He loves you, you know. He's written to me about you many times, though his father knows nothing. As you can see, age has made him cold. He used to be such a sweet young man…"

Daine winced as yelling came from another room. "You're marrying **her**!" screamed a voice, "But she's a – "

The reaction was unheard, but whatever it was it stopped Numair's father in his tracks.

"I'm afraid it's not gong as well for him and it did for me," Daine said, somewhat distracted.

"You've got that right," murmured the older woman. "Also, please Daine, call me Zanda. My husband wouldn't approve of it, but it makes me feel young. Or you could call me Mother if you prefer."

"I'll leave that title to Numair, Zanda," Daine replied. The older woman laughed. "I wonder how Numair's faring in there…" Daine's question was answered almost immediately.

Numair stalked into the room, his face deadly serious, but beet red. "Speak of the devil," Daine muttered. Zanda rewarded her with a quick smile.

"Send me all of the wedding details dear," Zanda replied. Daine nodded her agreement. She liked Numair's mother. But his father was so…cold.

"Daine," Numair said a little too calmly, "We're leaving."

She tried to look puzzled, though she knew exactly why Numair wanted to leave. Apparently the act worked.

"We're leaving." His voice was now deadly calm, deadly quiet. When Daine hesitated, he grabbed her hand and literally dragged her out of the door.

When outside, Daine asked, "So what is your father's name?"

"Colburn."

"That fits."

"It sure does." Daine smiled at this comment, recognizing Zanda in Numair. She was glad that he was more like his mother than his father.

When they reached the edge of the woods, Daine stood on her toes, and gave Numair a kiss on his cheek. "Everything will be okay, you'll see," she whispered. Then she grinned recklessly and shifted into a golden eagle, her favorite bird-form. She flew off. He watched her fly around, wheeling and waiting for him.

He grinned at the bird coming to rest on his shoulder. It dug its talons into his shoulder.

"Daine!" he screeched, "That hurt!" The bird's grip loosened slightly, though Numair would swear that he saw the eagle grin.

Laughing, he bent down to pick up the girl's pack, which she had so conveniently shed prior to shifting. He felt the weight lift from his shoulder as the movement disturbed Daine. She ruffled her feathers at him, and stalked away haughtily. Well, somewhat haughtily. Numair couldn't help it. He burst out in laughter at the funny sight of an eagle walking, well, more like waddling. Or hopping. Or a combination of both. He grinned roguishly at the eagle. A stray though wandered into his mind, like the whisper of the wind.

_This life __**will**__ be great_.

**A/N: If anyone wants to know, the name Colburn mean cold brook, but I just think of the cold part.**

**Comments? Questions? Constructive criticism? Reviews? *drools***

**Please no flames.**

**~Wild**


	2. Meet and Greet: Edition B

**Meet and Greet: Edition B**

The pair walked up the dusty lane to the old wooden door. Actually, it was more like the pair _skipped_ up the dusty lane to the old wooden door. The young woman was clad in a blue and white checkered dress, her normally wild brown hair in twin braids. Sparkly red shoes glinted on her small feet. Beside her, a talk man walked stiffly. He wore a suit that looked like it had been made of metal; tin, maybe. His gait was awkward and he looked as if he had been made of the very metal his clothing glinted like.

"Loosen up, Numair! You look like some sort of tin man when you do that!" The woman laughed, turning around and grinning cheekily at the tall man. As an afterthought, she added, "Or you look like you have to use the bathroom really badly. Take your pick!"

The man sniffed down his long nose. "We're about to tell my parents that we're engaged, Daine. How could I **not** be nervous?" Shrugging, the girl called Daine turned around and examined the dirt-covered tiles of the path. If she didn't know better, she'd say they were dust-covered golden bricks. From somewhere far off in the distance, she heard squeaky little voices belting out what sounded like "Follow the yellow brick road! Follow the yellow brick road!" The path seemed to have what looked like lion prints decorating it, as well as those from humans and horses, but the woman shrugged it off and continued walking, the man trotting awkwardly behind.

As Daine raised her hand to knock, Numair grasped it desperately. "This is our last chance to flee! Please, let's go. I'll call the flying monkeys right now if you wish." He looked at his former student hopefully, already drawing from his bag an odd-looking crown.

Giggling, Daine cried "Nope," and knocked sharply on the rugged-looking door. From inside a call of "I got it," was barely audible, and the soft padding of slipper-clad feet could be heard as a person hastened to the door. A slot in the top of the door was opened, and two green eyes stared out.

"What's the password?" A high-pitched voice squeaked.

"Mother, are you still doing this?" Numair cried in exasperation, throwing his hands up in the air, and in the process throwing the crown off a random cliff. "Oops."

"What's the password, sonny-boy?" The woman behind the door repeated, and Numair sighed again.

"Potatoes, mother." Numair answered, and the woman nodded smartly and let him in. Daine was about to follow when the door closed smartly before her, almost clipping her nose.

"I need the password, dearie!" The woman trilled, her green eyes gloating from behind the door. Confused, Daine looked at the woman. Hadn't Numair just said the password?

"Oh for the love of-" Numair's voice could be heard from behind the door, and a slight scuffling ensued as he tried to wrench the door open for his fiancé. His mother would not give though, and once again Daine was asked for the password.

"Um, potatoes?" Daine guessed, her fingers crossed behind her back.

"Right you are dearie!" The woman gushed, and suddenly the door was opened wide to reveal a red-faced Numair trapped in a head lock by the sprightly older woman, who was apparently Numair's mother. Still a bit confused, Daine stepped hesitantly into the large tower-like house.

"Now, who might this be?" The older woman questioned, pinching Daine's cheek and grinning at the young woman.

"Prepare yourself." Numair whispered to a _very_ confused Daine, before turning to his mother, "This is Verlidaine, Daine, Sarrasri; my fiancé." Numair mumbled the last bit, but his mother's sharp hearing still picked up on it. Uttering a high-pitched squeal, she tackled Daine to the ground, hugging the poor girl half to death.

"My little Numy's getting himself married! And to such a pretty young thing too!" The older woman crowed, snuggling up to the startled Daine. The man in question had his red face buried in his large hands, looking anywhere but at the mess his mother was making of his fiancé.

"What the hell is all that noise, woman?" A rough male voice could be heard, and from the stairwell a tall, thin man appeared, his eyes hard and black.

"Our little Numy's getting married to a charming young woman!" Numair's still un-named mother cooed, clutching Daine tighter (if possible).

"Well, what's the name of the girl?" The colder, aged man asked, his tone dark and uncaring.

"Verlidaine Sarrasri, but just Daine for short, apparently. She's the wildmage Numy's been going on and on about!" Numair's blushed intensified at his mother's words. His father, however, was less than pleased.

"Sarra_sri_? Why, that means she's a b-"

The father's word were cut off by Numair's hard slap. Bringing a hand to his stinging cheek, the father gazed levelly at Numair. "It's on, boy."

"Bring it." Numair replied, going into the Crane ninja position. His father took on the position of the Mantis. Both began to awkwardly circle the other, trying to looking intimidating as they hopped around on one foot, keeping their "fearsome" positions.

"Oh, let's just leave them to their cat-fights!" Numair's mother exclaimed, taking Daine by the hand and guiding her to the kitchen. "Gods know how Numy and Colby – Colburn, my dear husband – can get when they get into one of their little spats."

Numair's mother led Daine to a wooden table and chair as outside the room the two men continued to hop awkwardly about. Thanking the older woman, Daine turned her eyes around the exquisitely decorated room. It looked like the kitchen had just about every available ingredient in store, from caviar to hay.

"I know your name dearie, but I don't suppose you know mine! I'm Zanda, a mixture between a zebra and a panda. They're my two favorite animals, you know!" As soon as the lady mentioned her favorite animals, Daine immediately opened up, and the two became involved in a heated discussion about whether zebras were white with black stripes or black with white stripes. Daine thought it was the latter, Zanda the former. Outside the men continued their "battle."

After a while, a panting Numair entered the room, a grim smile on his haggard face. "I've beat him, for now. Come Daine, we must flee whilst the enemy is still down." Grabbing Daine by the hand, he strode out of the kitchen and into the hallway, Zanda following behind. Colburn lay on the hard stone floor of the house, twitching in what appeared to be a deep sleep.

"Oh dear." Zanda tsk-ed, and began loading her husband up into a conveniently placed wheelbarrow. "Whenever he concentrates too hard, he falls asleep. It's one of his bad, incurable habits, you know. Well, you two dears have fun eloping, and mail me the wedding details!" Nodding briskly, Numair continued his longs strides towards the front door, Daine trying to follow behind. Giving up, she let her body shift into that of an eagle. Scowling down her beak at Numair, she took to the open skies, headed towards the gate to the house. Alighting upon it, she looked impatiently at Numair.

"Sorry sweet, but I really had to get out of there." Numair apologized, running a hand through his sweat-soaked hair. Rolling her eyes as best she could as an eagle, she jumped up and glided down to roost on Numair's head. If her claws pricked him, it served him right. She had been having such a lovely chat with Zanda! But oh well, she did love him. And his head _was_ very comfy. Shrugging bird-shoulders, she snuggled down on the head of her fiancé, drifting into a light sleep.

_Let the nuptials begin!_

**~Winged**


	3. Proposals: Edition A

A/N: This is set after Realm of the Gods. Enjoy! And sorry for it being so late.

- And so it begins…-

* * *

I grimaced. The girl in the mirror – was she really me? It couldn't be. She was too…well…not me.

Despite myself, I ran my hand down the smooth surface, caressing my reflection with my fingertips.

Stepping back from the mirror, I carefully criticized the picture I saw. The deep and light blue dress was absolutely gorgeous. The swirling pattern hypnotized one while the sharp edges made it look chic. Tiny embroideries offset the design. They were a very pale blue-violet, each a perfectly crafted flower with a single sapphire bead in the center. The fact that the colors accented my blue-grey ocean eyes was noted with satisfaction.

A woman stepped up behind me, pinning my hair into a loose bun yet still letting a few curls fall to frame my face.

"So," the woman asked, "What do you think, Daine?"

"It's…it's perfect!" I replied, frozen in delight. "Thank you so much, Thayet!" The initial shock of seeing myself in the mirror faded, and I turned to face the queen.

"Not yet it's not," Thayet retorted, her face as deadly serious as it had been during the siege of Port Legann. Drawing a necklace from her belt purse, she clasped it around my neck. I gazed into the mirror, fingering the charm, and gasped.

The charm was an intricate twist of silver with a single sapphire set dead center. The silver was crafted into a bird's nest, with a thousand tiny silver "twigs" woven together to form a near-perfect circle. Little sliver bits hung off of it here and there. The sapphire itself was a work of art, a medium blue stone that was cut beautifully. As if by magic which, really, it probably was. Cut by magic, that is.

As I twisted, light reflected off of the gemstone and it shone in different shades, ranging from a very deep blue to a pure light blue.

Thayet stepped away from me and eyed the outfit critically, searching for the most miniscule of flaws. I fidgeted under her gaze, fighting to keep from spinning in circles.

After what seemed like an eternity, Thayet's face burst into a soft smile. With a softness that matched her facial expression, she said, "Now it's perfect."

I looked back into the mirror, seeing what Thayet saw. "Wow," I breathed, amazed. I was beautiful. Stunning. Gorgeous. Every word that I thought described Thayet now described me. Suddenly, I began to fumble for the clasp of the necklace.

"I…I'm sorry Thayet," I stuttered, "I can't accept this necklace. It's too much…just too much…" The silver chain pooled in my hand as I fumbled to hand it to Thayet, who took it, and promptly clasped it back onto my neck.

"Think of it as an engagement present," she said matter-of-factly. Numair and I had told all of our friends about our relationship around a year ago, but I swear they had known before that.

I blushed a deep crimson. "I don't know that anything's actually going to happen tonight!" I feebly protested.

Thayet laughed. "Well, you must be blind if you haven't noticed the hints that a certain mage has been dropping for weeks."

My blush got deeper, if that was even possible. Catching a glimpse in the mirror, I decided it was. I was red from ear to ear, and I looked like I might faint. In truth, I had noticed the hints, though I hadn't mentioned it.

I mumbled some semblance of a reply, and Thayet shooed me from the fitting room to a smaller dressing room. I carefully shook out and hung up my new dress, and pulled on my breeches and shirt.

When I walked out, Thayet was talking to a palace dressmaker who was scribbling furiously on a sheet of paper. Then the dressmaker walked up to me.

"Greetings Daine," she curtsied formally, and I returned the gesture.

"Greetings Sansha," I replied, thankful that I remembered her name.

Sansha said, surprised, "I honestly didn't expect you to remember my name. But I'm glad you did." Adopting a more serious tone, she added, "I'm going to take your dress up to your room for you."

"Nonsense!" I retorted, "I can do that myself!"

Sansha raised an eyebrow. "Without it touching the floor, without your animal friends mussing it up, and without wrinkling it? I highly doubt it."

My reputation for ruining clothes was almost as well known as Thayet's, but for very different reasons. I consented to have Sansha take the gown and she bustled past me into the dressing room.

Turning back to the queen, I asked, "What are you wearing to the ball tonight?"

"Oh, just a simple red and gold dress with golden embroideries and real pearls."

Obviously, my idea of simple and Thayet's were completely different. She continued, "And what do you think Numair will be wearing?"

I was saved from having to answer that difficult question when Sansha came back into the room. I trailed her back up to my room and unlocked the door for her. When we entered, she went directly to the closet and hung the dress. I, however, turned towards my bed.

Finding an assortment of assembled animals there did not surprise me at all. I firmly told them that my dress was not to be touched.

When I had finished with the animals (and their complaints), Sansha told me that Thayet wanted me back in the dressmaker's room. I sighed and went back downstairs.

When I got there, Thayet announced cheerily, "Now, we're going to the shoemaker's shop. By the way, why are you still wearing that necklace?"

I glanced down at my neck and carefully removed the sapphire necklace, having forgotten it earlier. I stowed it in my belt purse, making sure to button the opening flap down. We set off across the palace grounds, walking down well-worn paths.

When the shoemaker's store came into view, I gasped. I always went to the tanners when I wanted new shoes, so I had never seen the collection of high-heeled shoes in the shoemaker's windows.

As we entered the shop, everyone working stopped, bowing or curtseying to Thayet. The shop's owner came forward, and the staff went back to work.

"Hello Your Majesty," he greeted Thayet first, as her position required. Then he turned to me. "Hello Mistress Sarrasri." Unlike Sansha, I had never met this man before.

"Please, sir," I asked, "Call me Daine."

He nodded. "As you should call me Jac."

I agreed, and Thayet said, "We're looking for some high-heeled shoes for Daine, preferably in a deep sapphire, and made of comfortable material."

"I think I have just the pair," Jac replied, ever agreeable, "Please follow me."

And so we did. We followed him to the very back of the store, and then into door meant only for employees. Finally, we came to a stop.

"I have just finished making this exquisite set of shoes, and I believe they are just what you are looking for. Would you care to try them on?" I nodded, stunned by the beauty that could be in just one pair of footwear. The material, like the jewel in my new necklace, seemed to change color as the light hit it. Yet when I put it on my foot, it felt like lamb's wool. The shoe fit perfectly, if not being slightly too small. Jac summoned over a clerk, who performed magic on the shoes so that they fit perfectly.

Thayet nodded her approval. When the shoes were on, they looked almost like slippers. They were open toed, but only by a slit. Like a window to my toes, as odd as that seemed.

The shoes gracefully arched to fit my feet snugly, and ended in a heel as thin as a needle. For all that, the heel was only about an inch high. "I'll buy them." I said decisively.

Jac said in an all-business voice, "That will be twenty silver nobles." I reached into my belt purse and drew out the money, thinking that the shoes seemed like they would be worth at least fifty gold crowns.

Unnoticed by me, Thayet arched her eyebrows, and Jac inclined his head slightly, as if to say, 'I know.'

I descended the Grand Staircase slowly, gracefully. My fingers trailed on the marble rail, and my shawl barely hung off the ground. The shawl was a light sapphire that accented the multi-colored shoes and gemstone. I reached the bottom of the staircase after what seemed like an eternity, and met a man there.

Numair offered his arm to me. As I slid my hand into his elbow, he whispered, "You look beautiful." I gave him a small smile, and he escorted me to a table occupied by Alanna, George, and Onua. We joined them, and jumped into the ongoing conversation.

Finally, after evading several questions about Numair and me, dinner was served. Silence fell on the assembled crowd as they all ate, save, of course, our table. Alanna kept turning to Numair and saying things that I could not hear, though I was on his other side. He was turning redder and redder as the night went on, and eventually it appeared that he kicked her. She shut up. Onua, on the other hand, badgered me with questions until the dancing began. Then she was swept up by some male Rider and Numair and I were left to peace.

Well, sort of.

Alanna was still staring at Numair's head, more specifically his hair, for he was pointedly ignoring her while talking to me. George was failing to get his wife's attention, though his perseverance was admirable. Finally, Numair asked me to dance, though if he really wanted to dance or if he simply wanted to get away from Alanna, I had no idea.

My skirts sighed as I stood, and I carefully smoothed the fabric down. The skirt was like a ball gown as it was tight in the bodice, but flowed away beautifully at the waist. The shawl, my own closet's contribution to the strapless gown, was left in a crumpled heap in the seat of my chair.

We danced a few dances before I made the comment, "You know Numair, it takes real talent to dance a waltz to the music of a tango."

"Well," he replied, trying to sound snobbish, "It just shows you how talented I am after all."

I couldn't help it. I broke up laughing at his attempts to sound so unlike himself. Looking up into his face, his eyes were alight with glee. His smile matched my own. I sighed out of my laughter and slowly blinked my eyes, like I was giving my consent. When the song stopped, it happened.

Numair got down on one knee as the last chords of the tango music faded. His voice was unusually soft and sweet as he asked, "Verlidaine Sarrasri, will you marry me?"

He drew out a red velvet box from who-knows-where and opened it. Women around the room gasped at the gorgeous ring. It was silver, with a sapphire set between two smaller crystals.

I nodded, unable to speak as tears flowed down my cheeks. Numair rose, and took my left hand. He slipped the ring onto my fourth finger, and grabbed me into a hug. I cried into his shirt as he stood there. A collective sigh went up, and Numair gently tilted my head up to meet his eyes. Then he kissed me, a sweet, lingering kiss. He led me in a slow waltz that matched the music perfectly. Slowly all the other couples in the room joined in, the king and queen included.

Finally, the royal pair swept in, Thayet drawing me away, and Jon literally dragging Numair off the dance floor.

When Thayet and I got to the edge of the room, she turned to me and said, "Well I guess this answers my earlier question."

Extremely confused, I asked, "What in the world are you talking about, Thayet?"

"Earlier today, I asked you what you thought Numair would be wearing."

The absurdity of that comment was lost in my giddiness. "Oh, well, I guess now you know." We both turned to look at Numair, who was clad in black pants and a silver shirt. Observing Numair's frequent glances in our direction, I decided that Jon was doing a less effective job of getting Numair to converse than Thayet was doing with me.

I had forgotten that Thayet was standing behind me, and I jumped when she whispered in my ear, "Congratulations, Daine."

As I walked around the room towards my fiancé, I noticed that Alanna was doggedly following me, with George trailing behind her. He seemed less-than-interested in bothering Numair and I. When I reached Numair, Jon had left, and he was conversing with Onua.

As I walked up, she said, "Congratulations." Shaking her head, she added, "You know I can't help but keep thinking of you when I first met you in Galla." I smiled, remembering that day clearly.

However, I didn't get to dwell in memories for too long. Alanna spoke up, saying, "Well, we all knew it would happen eventually. Heck, we knew before you two did. A long time before. Okay maybe not that long of a time ago."

Glancing at me, Numair mouthed, 'Babbling.' At my questioning look he leaned over and whispered, "Earlier she told me that tonight she was going to get back at me for all the times I've rambled on at her in the past. I guess this is it."

Alanna was still talking when George finally interrupted her. "Well, congratulations you two. Now, we will be taking our leave." He bodily dragged Alanna away from Numair and I, and she turned to her husband with an angry look.

Numair laughed at them, and once again, we struck up a dance. I leaned my head into his chest, his chin resting in my hair.

I whispered, "Yes."

I could feel him smile.

* * *

A/N: Well all, I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing  
it. I would really like reviews and comments please! But, no flames. If you  
absolutely hate my writing style or my story, please just keep it to yourself.  
Thanks.

~Wild


	4. Proposals: Edition B

**Hey, so this is Winged with my portion of the fic! So sorry it took so long! Wild's probably tried to put it off as all her fault, but I really started procrastinating by not writing my piece until December, I think. Then we both procrastinated in editing. BUT IT WAS ALL WORTH IT, BECAUSE THIS FIC IS SERIOUSLY AWESOME. Wild's piece made me cry with the beauty of it. And, hopefully, my piece will have you crying tears of laughter. But without further ado (because you guys've put up with way too much ado), I present Proposals, Edition B!**

* * *

"Daaaaaaaaaaine!" Thayet squealed, grasping my hand, "I've got your dreeeeeeeeeess! It's so preeeeeeeeeetty!"

"Whyyyyyyyyyy are weeeeeeeeee stretching our voweeeeeeeeeels?" I asked, relenting as she spun me around her room. Actually, it wasn't her room but her closet, though it was big enough to have housed my entire Snowsdale village. Before my wolf friends mauled them.

The closet was stuffed with all sorts of clothes, shoes, scarves, purses, dresses, breeches, jewelry, and even a few little dolls to try the oodles of miniature sample of the clothes already in the closet on! Thayet had named the dolls Barbie and Kelly. There was even a male doll named Ken which the Queen used to test out her outfits for the King. I pitied Jonathan; there were some pretty lacy, ruffle-y things hanging on ol' Ken today.

Today Thayet had added a new doll to her collection. Its name was Daine.

"C'mon Daine! Aren't you the least bit excited about the dress? Numair will loooooooooove iiiiiiiiiit!" Thayet struck, hitting my weak point.

"N-Numy will?" I stuttered, blushing bright red.

"Well of course! He'll just want to eat you up! Of course, that would only happen after he proposes!" Thayet wiggled her eyebrows suggestively, and I swore I started sweating. My face was probably neon-red. Is neon-red an actual color? I think it should be. I mean, there's a neon-yellow, a neon-blue, a neon-pink, a neon-green…

"Daine, honey, you're slouching." I jerked upright at Thayet's words, blushing a neon-neon-red as I noticed I had been flopping over. It was a bad habit of mine that happened whenever I got to thinking too hard. I think it happens to keep my brain oxygenated. You know, so that the oxygen could flow easier toward it? Well, whatever the case, I was glad it had gotten Thayet off my case about… about… Great, now I'm neon-red again. Maybe I should just dye my face this color and save myself the trouble.

"Anyways Daine, back to the important topic on hand: your dreeeeeeeeeess!" Thayet squealed, and promptly brought out a pair of scissors.

"Thayet," I started, looking into her earnest eyes warily, "What are those for?"

"These?" Thayet hefted the pair of silver scissors up, eyeing them appreciatively. When I nodded, she continued, "These are to encourage you to get undressed and put on the outfit I picked out for you. If you don't do it out of your own free will, I will cut your clothes off for you." When Thayet grinned evilly (is that spelled right? is that even a word?), I knew no amount of wild magic would keep her from putting me in the offending garment hidden somewhere behind her. I chose the safer tactic and stripped.

When I was down to my breast band and loincloth, Thayet brought out a bolt of blue cloth and shoved it over my head.

"This had better fit; I spent ages trying to get your sizes." Thayet mumbled under her breath, and I pretended not to have heard her comment. I wasn't even going to ask.

Pretty soon I was swathed in silken cloth and feeling godly. Or goddessly, but the first version worked better. Looking at myself in the mirror, I had my breath taken away. I truly looked heavenly. Heck, I wouldn't have minded kissing myself - that was how good the dress made me look.

"So what do you think?' I asked my companion, turning towards her, satisfied by the feeling of silk swooshing around my bare thighs. Thayet said nothing, just stared at me. Her pupils seemed a bit large, but I shrugged it off as the low lighting in her closet.

I repeated my question, and she answered in a creepy monotone. "Everything looks good on Master." Blinking at her, I quietly asked a passing mouse if he hadnoticed anything that might've triggered this stupor in the Queen. He was just as clueless as I was, but I still sent him off with a word of thanks and a crumb of cheese. (When you live as intimately with animals as I do, you learn to always keep a variety of food morsels on your person at all times. Just don't ask me _where_I kept them.)

"I have a gift for Master. I hope Master appreciates it and does not scold her servant for being too forthright." Thayet robotically drew a pendant from her purse and bowed in front of me, the pendant stretched forth towards me. Although the necklace was beautiful, Thayet's behavior was a bit out of the ordinary.

"Thayet," I said with a nervous chuckle, "You're beginning to scare me."

"If Master is frightened by me, I will remove my presence." Thayet dropped the necklace in front of me and began heading towards the window.

Realizing her intentions a second before she reached the sill, I jumped towards her and pinned her feet to the ground with my own. "Oh no you don't, missy! I don't know what's gotten into you, but I'm going to figure it out! Now, stay put while I change into something more versatile." I commanded, letting go of Thayet hesitantly.

"Master's wish is my command." Thayet continued in her monotone, snapping into a rigid posture. Slowly I removed the beautiful dress and placed it in the closet for later use, drawing on my more comfortable tunic and breeches. Turning around, I found Thayet staring at me, confused.

"Daine, what happened? You were trying on the dress, then I blacked out, and – Oh! Your necklace! I was going to surprise you with it!" Thayet pouted as she picked up the necklace and offered it to me. "Isn't it gorgeous?"

"Um, yes, very." I replied, still a little freaked by Thayet's sudden mood swings. Was this normal for her?

"I know, right?" Thayet squealed, grabbing my arm excitedly. I guess she was over whatever had been troubling her, "Jewelry completes the outfit! Oh, but you know what else you need? SHOES! I was thinking 5 inch heels, minimum." As Thayet continued to babble and drag me out of the castle to the market, I sent up a silent prayer to my mother, father, and whichever other god or goddess was willing to listen.

Please, don't make me wear heels!

* * *

"Jaaaaaaaaaac! I've brought you a customeeeeeeeeeer!" Thayet called out into the dimly lit shoe shop, reverting back to her ten-count-vowel speech.

"Thayet, is that you? And who is that PYT beside you? That's Pretty Young Thing in case you were wondering, babe." The man who appeared was a red-head, with small, circular spectacles and a slim goatee, and he winked at me.

"Sorry Jackie! Daine's taken!" Thayet winked at the ginger, and I briefly wondered if John should be worried. They were on a first name basis after all. That, or Thayet was having an affair with the multiple pairs of high-heels located around the store. I winced at some of the outlandish prices I saw.

"Thayet! You know how much I hate that nick-name." Turning to me, he announced "My name is plain old Jac young lady, but everybody but Queenie over there calls me Ollivander. Now, let's find the perfect pair of shoes for you!" Jac – Ollivander – led us further into the store, stopping at a giant cubby full of shoes of all different sizes and shapes. Instantly, Ollivander went from a playful young man to a serious store owner.

"Let's see now… How about dragon heartstring slippers? The sole is made out of oak!" Jack took a pair of flaming red shoes from the cubby and handed them to me. They exploded into a thousand flaming bits when they reached my hand, and Ollivander quickly muttered a spell to put out the fires.

"No good, huh?" He questioned, and as I fervently shook my head he pulled out another pair of shoes. "Let's try these. Willow siding and hair of a unicorn." The shoes Ollivander pulled out this time were a cream colored sparkling mess. They had barely touched my feet when they leapt back into their cubby hole. I could've sworn I heard indignant whinnying.

"Well that's a no! Ah! This pair should do the trick!" Ollivander pulled out a pair of brilliant blue shoes, the color of the edge of a burning fire. They matched my dress and necklace perfectly. "These are phoenix feather shoes, with a base of holly. I think these might do the trick." When I grasped the azure shoes, a feeling of peace swept through me.

"I like these!" I cheered, slipping the shoes on. They had a slight heel, but nothing I couldn't manage. The fit was perfect, and they were incredibly comfortable. Walking felt like I was floating on clouds, or else tying giant, feathery pillows to my feet.

"Interesting." Ollivander commented, "I sold a pair identical to those to a young boy about yea high with brilliant green eyes, messy black hair, and the most peculiar scar. Must've been a gift to his girlfriend!" Ollivander shrugged off the strange boy and turned to Thayet. "Should I put it on your tab?"

"Please!" Thayet replied, and then bustled me out of the shop. "Thanks for your help Jackie, you're a doll, but we really must leave! We have to prepare for the ball tonight, and I haven't even started Daine's make-up! It's going to be a special night for her, and I want her to look her very best!" Before I had even a second to ponder the Queen's words, I was swept up in Hurricane Thayet and breezed down the street.

* * *

The ball was magnificent. The floor was spread out so as to provide plenty of room for dancing. There were also dark corners, providing plenty of opportunity for, well, you know. I was a bit nervous as Thayet had dropped me off here, at the top of the grand staircase, by myself. She claimed she had some Queenly business to attend to, but the sparkle in her eye gave her away. I reckoned that in a few seconds, Jon would have a lovely surprise coming his way.

I clutched the simple blue shawl around me tighter. It seemed drab compared to all the other frivolities, but it was the only part of me that spoke 'Daine' tonight. The rest of me was some magnificent beauty; defiantly not my style. I was about to turn and leave out of sheer nervousness when I caught the eye of Alanna. For once in her life, she had on a ball gown. A jeweled ball gown. A sparkly, jeweled ball gown. A sparkly, jeweled, _pink_ ball gown. If looks could kill, the one Alanna sent me for attempting to escape would've had me dead on sight. As it was, I couldn't bring myself to abandon her, especially when she showed me the dormouse stuffed into her poufy pink sleeve. There could possibly be a case of animal abuse if I didn't act quickly!

I hurried down the stairs, intent on reaching the treacherous Alanna, when I was stopped by a silky silver wall. Confused, I stared at it for a few seconds, trying to figure out why there would be a wall made of silk, and why it would choose to materialize (Get it? Get it? Yeah...) right in front of me. When I noticed the wall was slowly moving up in down in a pattern similar to breathing, I really got a fright. Until Numair bended down so we were at eye-level. I tried to stifle a shriek of surprise, but it came out sounding very un-ladylike.

"Daine? Sweetheart, are you feeling alright?" Numair asked me gently. Blushing heavily, I nodded slightly. Still looking at me with that funny little furrow he always gets between his eyes when he's worried, Numair took my elbow and led me to the dinner table. There I was met with Alanna, who was sneaking glanced at me and patting the lump in her long sleeve (this time I was blushing from anger), and Thayet, who made no effort to hide her eagerness for Numair and I, giving me extravagant winks and making little hearts in her pasta. I was back to blushing from embarrassment.

Onua and the men thankfully saw fit to continue on in a normal conversation, allowing me to slip in and comment every now and then. Numair was less occupied with his food than with my hair, playing with it throughout dinner. Glancing at him every once in a while, I was amused at how similar he looked to a kitten playing with a piece of string. At least I was amused until I realized that would make me the string, and I didn't like to be played. Then I scowled at him and sent him retreating into his (non-alcoholic: drunken mages are not fun) drink.

After a while, dinner was finished and Numair invited me to dance. I accepted, and we were about to leave to the dance floor when Thayet began making some very obvious fake-coughs. Turning back to her, I was mortified when she began gesturing wildly in some odd game of charades. Jon, catching sight of his wife, quickly mouthed at me "the shawl," and I hurriedly took it off to save Thayet from her spasms. She nodded approvingly, before getting the same look in her face as she had earlier that day when I had worn the dress for the first time. Looking around, I realized that every other person had the same look on their face as Thayet.

I was reaching nervously for my shawl when the whole congregation, Numair included, echoed in one voice "Master." Well, that wasn't creepy at all. When I began backing away, I ran straight into Numair, who looked at me with his blank eyes and did nothing.

The silence was beginning to disturb me, so I called out hesitantly, "Um, band people? A little music please?" After a round of "Whatever Master wishes," the band began playing a haunting tune. From out of thin air, a voice began singing:

_'Cause this is thriller, thriller night__  
__And no one's gonna save you from the beast about to strike__  
__You know it's thriller, thriller night__  
__You're fighting for your life inside a killer, thriller tonight__  
_  
As one, the mess of bodies around me began to organize. They formed even rows and columns, and began to dance. Not just any dance; they imitated the walking dead, their arms out to one side and their fingers hooked into claws. With the blank looks on their faces, it certainly did look like they were a multitude of zombies out to get me. A shiver ran down my spine and I hurried to scoop up my shawl. As soon as I put it on, the masses began to ebb, stumbling around confusedly. The band seemed to be wondering why they had their instruments out and were playing. The singing voice had reverted into a creepy talking one, and it finished its job with a round of creepy laughter. No one else seemed to be bothered by the fact that there had been a voice coming from no visible body.

"Daine, why do you still have you shawl on? Are you cold?" Numair asked me, having somehow found his way over to me.

Relieved to see his eyes looking very much alive again, a buried my face into his warm chest as I mumbled, "Don't ever go zombie on me again."

"Daine?" Numair asked, the furrow between his eyes returning.

Louder this time, I answered, "Oh yes, I'm very cold! C'mon, let's dance and maybe I'll warm up a bit!" Practically dragging Numair out onto the dance floor, I struck up a jig.

"Magelet, you do know that they're playing a waltz, right?" Numair chuckled, grabbing my left hand and snaking one of his arms around my waist. Blushing at the contact and my mistake, I dumbly nodded my head.

Throughout the slow dance, Numair seemed to be in some other world. When I called his name he'd snap back to reality and shoot a smile at me, but soon his head would be prodding the clouds again. Eventually I gave up, and contented myself with the pleasant heat flowing from his arm through me. He seemed to make up his mind suddenly, and when the song was nearing its close, he stopped dancing abruptly.

"Numair, what-" I choked on my words when he got down on one knee and looked upat me with glistening eyes.

"Verlidaine Sarrasri, could I have the pleasure of your hand in marriage?" Numair spoke softly and brought out a small velvet box. I was about to consent when I noticed the ring. It was plastic.

"What the heck is that?" I pointed disdainfully at the ring, anger beginning to take over me.

Numair looked confused, lifting up the ring. "This? This is your proposal ring. I searched everywhere for it! It came in its own plastic capsule. You can have that too, if you like. The blue of its cap matches your eyes! Or would you have preferred a Ring pop?"

"You got it from a vending machine? You're that cheap?" I was raising my hand to slap him when he cried for me to wait.

"You haven't seen the actual gift for you! The wedding ring's symbolic, yes, but I didn't want to waste my money on it. Instead, I got you a more useful gift!" Numair slipped the plastic ring onto my left hand, fourth finger, and gestured to a dark corner of the room. From it stepped the most magnificent creature I had ever seen.

"Numair…" I started, at a loss for words.

"Daine?" He answered back, awaiting my approval.

"Numair…"

"Daine?"

"Numair…"

"Daine?"

"Oh, just shut up and ride the damn llama off into the sunset already! 'I can hear the bells' and all that crap!" Alanna stormed out from where she'd been watching out exchange, grabbed the reins of the prettiest pure-black llama I'd ever seen, and dragged it over to me. In a daze I moved towards it, running my fingers through its silky fur. It spit affectionately in my face.

"Numair… It's perfect! I love it! I love you! Yes, let's get married!" I cried, dragging Numair up on top of the llama and jumping up in front of him.

"Of course, my sweet!" Numair cried as he summoned some cans to tie to the llama's tail and a sign that read "Just Engaged."

Though we didn't ride off into a sunset, I was certainly hearing wedding bells as Alanna had suggested.

"So Mr. Llama, what's your name?" I asked, snuggling up to Numair.

_I am Emperor Kuzco! And it's all about me, me, me!_ I listened long enough to hear Kuzco the llama's name, before tuning him out and turning to Numair. Oh yes, this was going to be a very good wedding indeed!

* * *

**Thanks for reading the full two-part of Proposals! Hopefully our next piece won't take so long, but I don't want to jinx us! Leave a comment if you like, but don't feel like you have to. **

**Winged, signing off. (I've always wanted to say that, like a spy or something. TEN-FORE!) (I think that's how you spell "fore.")**

**Oh, P.S. (I always feel funny typing/writing that. It's just weird. But anyway...) The character whom Jac/Olivander is referring to is none other than Mr. Harry Potter! Hee hee, I had to add that in. (Harry Potter = 3) Oh, and the llama at the end of the story is Emperor (probably just spelled that wrong) Kuzco from The Emperor's (probably just spelled that wrong again) New Groove. Yay for totally unrelated other book/media reference! I even threw Michael Jackson in there! XD**


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